Realizing it...

I've come to realize something.. The stress that I'm facing could juz be coming from myself with regards to BB.. Why? 'Coz I feel that I care too much for this relationship, always worrying abt this and that.. Bayi said dun think so much but it's so difficult.. The thing is I've been asking myself if we can really be with each other and if we can't, it'll be better to end it early so as not to face with a huge buildup of hurt..


Sometimes I feel that I'm trying to change him but then again it seems to be changing him for the better.. Juz wanna let him know that he has to care for his loved ones as well.. I do feel secondary in his life.. Everything else is so infront of me.. Maybe I dun realize it but that's how I'm feeling.. Sometimes he's OH so sweet whereas there are times where he juz have that short fuse in him..


I don't juz wanna boyfren.. I need someone who is sensitive to my needs, fuss over me when I'm injured or sick, patient to my nagging (pretty difficult huh?).. Haha! I juz hope that he's more sensitive to my needs.. It takes 2 hands to clap and make the relationship happening.. Our relationship has probably reached the point of being stagnant.. To make it more lively and buzz, both of us gotta do something but nah, he's too busy to think of anything to sauce it up.. What abt myself?? I've been planning all kinda things until I've grown tired..


Probably I should head on with my life and care less about other stuff but then again, if he care less and I care less too, what will happen?? *sigh* God, please help me.. Guide me along please.. I juz need to know that BB loves me and the relationship, enjoys our time together and will make an effort to remember my stuff! I believe that will dispel the worries I have.. Luckily he doesn't read my blog, think he'll probably burst after reading it.. He can't see or understand things from me with an open-mind or even reflect upon himself.. Guys will be guys..