...LyFe juZ geTz mOr taXin'...

Msged R a long msg last nite and this morning, I saw his reply.. He likes me but doesn't have the confidence to start another relationship due to bad experiences n thus he'll withdraw at certain points of time.. That explains his hot and cold attitude.. I juz wonder why he'll have no confidence to even try.. Everytime when things start picking up, there he goes.. I don't have the energy to keep guessing what he wants even when there's a part of me, wanting to try.. I don't know how to convince him..

I was giving him my bitchfit the other day which made me reflect upon myself that I'd probably seem unreasonable to him and I'm so correct, he said sometimes when I asked him I seemed unreasonable. Oooops.. Shouldn't have given him my bitchfit.. Was so unlike me.. Probably did in order to understand him better.. But now, it has become a forest fire, wild..

We discussed several issues today and I kinda make out from our conclusion that we will take things super slowly and use this time to gain his confidence in relationship and my trust in guys' words.. Coz I feel that I simply can't trust any guys anymore.. I want to but my heart is disallowing me.. What can I do?? He seems to be keeping several of his feelings from me and I really wonder why.. However, he promised to let me know of the matters that are bothering him.. It's like he wants to try but yet is afraid of taking that 1st step out.. All I can do is to assure him and tell him that things might probably turn out well, sit outside and wait for him to take that step..

I even explained why I left him e previous time.. It was clearly then that I cannot commit to a relationship and I didn't want to hurt him.. Let alone, hurting him right now.. But I think I'm being hurt more now lor.. His one step in and one step out is confusing me and makes me feel so dangling in e air.. I dunno.. Even his answers are so confusing.. "Still friends but more than friend".. Chim.. But I kinda catch what he meant..I hope.. Everything is up to him 'coz there's just so much that I can do.. The ball is in your court..

Oh! About D.. Yeap, it's confirmed.. My intuition / feeling came true.. I know who she is and I learnt it from him..and later part, her.. Haha!! I juz connect the things he said to me when I asked him to try again and what he said to me earlier this afternoon. It's gonna be awkward when I see them together.. I'd probably need some time off, like what xiao hei zhu suggested.. I know for sure I'm over him after our chat this afternoon.. The situation and characters involved are just so........amazing. Somehow, R seemed to take a big part of my heart right now.. That's why when D was explaining stuff, I seemed pretty cool with it.. Anyway, I hope for them the best from the bottom of my heart.. D, your hope better come true fast man!!! Today at wedding dinner, I kena bombarded liaoz lor.. Hahaha!!! Gettin' ol mate.. *Stress!!*